Lexi and I haven’t known each other for long. However, she has been an irreplaceable support system in the time I have been lucky enough to be her friend. If she was a fruit she’d be a peach because of its sexual representation and the fact that her personality really blooms in the summer.
I’m sorry that you’re hurting.
I can’t believe how hard it is for me to tell you that.
You put me in the hospital at age 16. You cause me pain every single day, and the pain only gets worse as time goes on. You make intercourse a daunting task, to the point that I have to look away when I see sex on TV. You make my periods hell enough that I have missed school and work more times than I can count. You make me cringe when I drive over potholes, and sometimes even make it painful for me to walk.
For so long, that was the narrative that I told myself. Until one day, as I was pounding my fists against you screaming, “WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?” my mom reminded me that you are also hurting. This isn’t your fault. No one is enjoying this, and I’m sure if you had it your way the pain would stop too.
My anger was misguided. What I’m really angry with is a disease called endometriosis existing, in a society that has prioritized a man’s pleasure over a woman’s. Our healthcare system has neglected women’s health for too long, because just talking about it has been taboo for thousands of years.
None of this is your fault, and I blamed you for too long. I am so, so sorry.
I’m done being silent, and I’m done worrying about whether or not me talking about the pain we feel is “appropriate.” Instead of blaming you, I’m ready to stand up for you. The best part, my dear vagina, is that everyone else is ready too. There are others just like us who are tired of suffering in silence with no glimmer of hope in sight. We are coming together now, and creating networks, support groups, and blogs. All of this is for you, vagina. To make up for all of the time that I hated you and the pain you caused me. It was wrong, and I know that now. And I want you to know that I am on your side.