Baby now we’ve got baaaaaad blood.

I often wonder when I will finally figure out how to avoid rust coloured stains on all my favourite underwear and pants each month. Sometimes, I think I’ve really outsmarted my body by wearing a tampon, two nighttime pads and a pair of Thinx – still waking up with a pool of crimson stained sheets. Here is a list of items women submitted, which have also been marked by frequent visits from Flo herself;

“My favourite pair of blue lace undies.”
“Jogging pants. Then forgot and hung out with a guy and blamed it on a coffee spill.”
“The only white dress I ever bothered actually buying.”
“Bed sheets, so many bed sheets.”
“The middle couch cushion at my grandfathers’ apartment.”
“So. Many. Cute. Underwear. *angry face emoji*.”
“Bought a fab pair of white cut off shorts, only to be ruined by a surprise period two weeks later.”
“MY WEDDING DRESS LOL.”
“My high school uniform.”
“Jean shorts *thumbs down*.”
“Basically everything I own. I have such a heavy flow and I just don’t know how to tampon.”

“I was in grade 6. I just got a pair of shiny silver capris from La Senza Girl that I thought were the most fabulous things in the world. I bled right through them and onto my chair but I didn’t feel comfortable telling my male teacher, so I waited until everyone went out for recess and then had my best friend tie her sweater around my waist to cover up the stain. I’ll never forget those capris or that friend who came to the rescue!”
“UNDERWEAR. ALL OF THEM. Always. Still to this day and I am 26.”
“One time I bled in a pair of jeans I was trying on and had to buy them. They were $100. *that upside down smiley face*.”
“My favourite onsie from the general store :(.”
“The white bed sheet of a guy I was having a one night stand with. Oopsies.”
“My bathroom rug. The product of a late night surge in my flow. I had to run to the bathroom with my hands under my crotch to try to catch all the drips.”
“My best thrift find ever! Which was a super soft cotton Ralph Lauren pyjama set. And it happened while on vacation with my in-laws.”
“I don’t have a single pair of underwear that isn’t stained.”

“My socks. I didn’t realize I had a stream of period blood running down my legs.”
“MY MATTRESS!!”
“I do remember in 8th grade getting my period and staining my paints, so I changed into some cheap leggings, thinking great! But the leggings were see through and everyone in my class could see my patterned thong. I didn’t find out until the END OF THE DAY. Guys kept encouraging me to stand in front of them in line and play on their volleyball team during gym class – which later I realized was to stare at my thong. I hope this counts!”
“No clothing, but my brand new Bill&Branch sheets. And every other sheet set for that matter.”
“Vintage denim high wasited shorts that fit me PERFECTLY but I’ve worked on the stain for literally years and just got it out.”
“White fabric chair during a family dinner at my boyfriends house.”
“I stained a pair of high waisted Levi’s cutoffs a couple years ago. Finally decided to treat myself to a fresh new pair. THE FIRST DAY I wore them I started breakthrough bleeding. I work in the service industry and couldn’t get to the bathroom right away. By the time I could, my new fresh pair had a stain where the last one was. Maybe it’s fate?”

Makes you think – all this experience in blood stain removal is probably why far more male killers are caught than women…?

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